Nov 7th, 2009
Poo’s Corner
The Hundred Acre Wood will never be the same again…
Two days ago a life changing event occurred right in our own home! Guess what it was? We got a new toilet!!! Perhaps to you maybe this would be nothing, but this is no ordinary toilet. This is an American Standard, one gallon flush, oblong bowl, high boy model! Having spent the months since July 2, 2009, the day I came home from the hospital, with a low, round bowl toilet that flushed about 100 gallons each flush, I can tell you this truly is life changing.
This miracle of modern science came about because some friends – Steve and Mary Ann – bought and paid for a new one. I remember a conversation with Steve where he asked something like, “What was the most difficult transition you had to go through having an ostomy?” Well, that had but one answer that did not involve lengthy talks about bags of poo; the most difficult part of having to deal with an ostomy is round toilets. They suck. No really, they are horrible. The extra couple of inches denied in a round toilet makes ostomy life ridiculously complicated. NOW I know why the term “throne” came to be associated with toilets. I can assure you this did not come about from someone sitting on one of those round jobs, let me tell you. It came about the moment the creator of the first oblong toilet bowl sat down on his new creation.
Today, I thank God and Steve and Mary Ann for this awesome gift. I am just sad to say it is not an experience I feel I can share with them, but perhaps heartfelt gratitude will give them some measure of the joy the new throne brings me.