During my often daily visits to some colon cancer forums, I have seen frequent references to being a member of “the club” or “the tribe.” I like the thought of being part of something bigger than myself. It helps me to know others are having the same issues and struggles.
The fact that the tribe is virtual does not seem to make much difference to the members. We provide each other with encouragement, advice, prayers and a frame of reference for what we are going through. The tribe is not made up of just cancer patients, but cancer patients, previous patients that are NED (no evidence of disease), caregivers, spouses, siblings, relatives and friends. There are even regional and local tribes, support groups, that anyone can join.
My local support group consists of a few close friends and family that help me deal with the day-to-day aspects of dealing with cancer. And that has been great, but what it lacks is theme music to pull us together. I am thinking drum music. Something loud and earthy, Native American, Celtic, military or Caribbean perhaps. If anyone has some favorite drum music, drop me a line and let me know what it is. In the meantime, I am getting my loin cloth ready or perhaps a kilt, just in case someone’s suggestion requires a response!
It seemed kind of anti-climatic, the last chemo. When the nurse came to remove the pump I was ecstatic, but mostly for being able to shower. The effects of the chemo where still very real. Even now I suffer from the effects of one of my treatments that ended weeks ago. My oncologist, God bless him (no really), says it could take twelve to eighteen months for the effects to go away, or they may be permanent. I hope not. The sensitivity to cold, tingling and pain in fingers and toes and loss of balance are a bit much. I am told by some that I appear drunk when I walk. Which causes me to reflect on the possibility of going out for a pint for lunch from time to time. There are after all, a few bars within walking distance from my house. My fear of course would be that they would observe my approach and refuse to serve me, citing fears of over-consumption.
Well, that is as much humor I can manage, given my current circumstance. I have a brief recovery (a month or two), the reversal of my ostemy, a bit more recovery from that and then life can begin to move on. Unemployment has run out for Sally, mine will soon, but we have my retirement funds to live off while we decide what we do next. For you praying types, pray that we might figure out what next is pretty quick. We have no clue.
Given today is my fiftieth birthday, I have had cause to reflect and I might say I am happy for the life I have lived, even the part with cancer. God willing I will be around for a bit more and very soon look forward to seeing many family members and friends, some of whom I have not seen in ages. I have such fond memories of growing up. Hopefully I will find out soon what I want to be when I do grow up, not that I feel particularly old, but I feel time might run out and the decision will be made for me. I might end up as a programmer or something like that instead of a fireman or an airplane pilot. I think I would make an excellent garbage man, hanging onto the back of the truck, the envy of all who see me work!